Stay
by Heel Princess
Summary: Oneshot: Trish pov...sequel to Lie to me. Trish/Lita Femslash. if you dont like it dont read it...read and review


**sequel to Lie to me, trish pov. Based on the song Stay by 12 stones... read and review please.**

The door hasn't even closed all the way and the tears that had been streaming down my face turn into hysterical sobs. Everything I have been bottling up inside has built up so much tension that now here I am, bursting at the seams watching her leave me. Call me selfish but I never thought this day would come; it had never crossed my mind that one day all her talk would stop being just talk and she would actually go.

My face finds my hands as my sobs became louder and louder, my pain echoing off the walls of the now empty room. Of course there is furniture around me so its not really empty… but it is to me. Without her everything instantly feels empty.

I can't believe this is happening, it doesn't make sense, it doesn't feel right. She is supposed to be here, she is supposed to be in my arms, playing with my hair like she always does. But she isn't, she's gone, probably already in her car, driving off to god knows where. Where will she even go?

Somehow my body finds the strength to make it to the bed before I collapse, my face hits the sheets and I immediately smell her. Its then I realise that I'm on her side of the bed and shuffle over until I'm safe on my own side expecting to feel her arms wrap tightly around me at any minute. But they don't, I have to remember that she's not going to reach out for me; I have to face the fact that she isn't going to do that anymore.

"What am I supposed to do?" I scream, once again hearing my voice bounce back at me, as if my own guilt and loneliness is taunting me. This is all my fault but it's not what I wanted…it's not what I want. I love her, adore her, live for her, breath for her and she's gone.

I pull the pillow up over my face and scream into it, if I only I wasn't so scared. My mother disserved to know, because it wasn't like hiding my sexuality from her made it any different. Weather she knew or not I was still a lesbian.

Part of me thinks that I wanted this; I wanted to push her out of my life to try and make it all go away. Yet the other part of me knows full well that her leaving will only make things harder. I can't exactly go back to the way things were now, not even if I wanted to. I can't hit rewind and stumble back into awkward relationships with men I pretended to be interested in. No, once I had given into my real feelings, once Amy told me those three little words there was no going back. Hearing her say I love you made everything real, I couldn't fuck around with her feelings she was mine and slowly I became hers.

She had been through so much before we got together, she was so sure of herself, so courageous, things I'm not and that's probably why I love her so much. She is everything I want to be, we combat each other, and like ying and yang together we're perfect.

Before I gave into the fact that I was attracted to her we were friends and not only friends, best friends. I knew everything about her and vice versa, days on the road let you learn so much about someone and within a few days become instantly bonded. I knew early on that she liked woman, and even though I couldn't admit it to her right away I had always kind of known that I felt the same way.

Amy told me about her past relationships, the struggles she went through and the day she told her mother. I admired her so much for that, but it also put the fear of god in me. Slowly I had been coming around to the fact that even if I tried to deny it, it wouldn't change the fact that I had no interest in men that approached me or any men for that matter. She made me realise who I am, and she is also the one who made me realise I didn't want to tell anyone. Her horror stories of discrimination and abandonment because of her orientation terrified me. And on that day I decided that I would tell her, but I would never tell my mother.

Looking back I should have known better then to get involved with her since I knew I had no intension of waving a flag of pride around but we ended up together anyway. It was the greatest yet stupidest decision of my life because while I did find love with her I also hurt her so badly. All she wanted was to stop hiding and I couldn't give that to her.

I roughly shove my hands to my eyes to push back the tears; I need to stop thinking about her. But as I roll over to try and find some form of solace in sleep my eyes find a picture of us on the nightstand.

She hasn't even been gone an hour and I'm already torn apart by the sight of her smiling face. It was such a contrast to the hurt look she had when she left here, seeing her like that broke my heart because I knew I was the one who broke her smile. If you know Amy you know that she is always smiling, and it could brighten the darkest day…my god she's perfect.

Subconsciously I reach for the picture and hug it to my chest, its only when I feel the sharp corner against my rib cage do I notice that I'm holding onto it for dear life. My eyes trace the shape of her in the photograph and I find myself longing to here her voice. I'm convinced that hearing her speak can mend the way I'm feeling.

I close my eyes to try and stop more tears from coming and I see her right away, "It's worth it Trish, I'm worth it." Those few words seem to haunt me and I know they wont go away because she's right…she's absolutely worth it.

Placing the frame back on the table my legs swing over the side of the mattress before I bolt for the door, the keys clenched in my fist. I don't know where I'm going, because well I don't know where she is; just driving seems like the only option.

Yet I quickly find I don't need to because when I open my door she's still there, leaning against the wall with her hand covering her eyes. "Your worth it." I say quietly, "Your worth it."

Reaching for her I pull her hands down and once I brush the hair from her eyes I start placing butterfly kisses all over her face, repeating, "Your worth it."

My arms find their way around her neck and her trembling body momentarily accepts my embrace. Its when I go to kiss her that she pushes me away, "No this isn't right I can't do this anymore, I deserve better. As much as I love you Trisha, I can't be with you and it's because I love you. There's no way I can hide that love. I've got to let go and find something healthy."

"I know that I've been wrong but I'm begging you to stay…" I plead with her, laying a hand on her bare arm.

Amy pulls away from me, and her eyes find the floor. "I can't."

"I can't do this on my own."

The last sentence garners her attention and she turns to face me, "Do what alone?"

I don't answer her; at least not yet, I'm not ready. "Teach me to be strong." I blurt, "If I could take it back I would but I can't. So I'm asking you, no I'm begging you…don't walk away."

Her eyes are full of tears and I just want to hold her, "Stop your games Patricia, I can't deal with this. I don't know why I couldn't leave before, I should no better."

All I can see is her red hair fling around as she grabs her bag to head for the elevator. "Wait!" I yell, gaining the attention of half the roster who poke their heads out of their doors to see exactly who was having a screaming match in the hallway. I look at them and then back at her, this is my chance to prove I'm serious. "I love you!" I shout down the corridor, for once not caring who hears me.

Their faces all turn to shock, but none as shocked as Amy's as I continue to yell at her. "I need you Amy, nothing compares to the way I feel when I look at you." Glancing around the hall I notice that everyone is hanging on my every word. "I can't live without your face, I can't live without your lips on mine." For a while it's silent, and I know what she's waiting for. "I'm scared Amy, but I'm going to tell her. I'll tell my mother everything but I need you by my side…I can't do this alone."

Amy's eyes well up again, only this time I'm hoping they are happy tears…she smiles and I feel whole again.

Her bag hits the floor and she runs into my arms, her hands familiarly tangling in my hair. Finding her ear and pushing my lips to it I whisper, "Stay."


End file.
